I was sure my past had caught up with me.
Today as I am slicing up all-natural chicken drumettes for E, I get a phone call. I don't recognize the number so I let voicemail get it. When I listen to the message it is a deep and gruff man's voice saying "If there is a ~Me with Maiden Name~ at this address please call 555-5555." Nothing else. Not "because you owe-won-lost 8 million dollars." So after racking my mind to think of reasons why a creditor would be calling from a seemingly local residential number I did what any savvy modern day girl would do. I did a reverse look up on the number and then googled the guy.
All that came up was that he was an academic cousnelor at a university in another state. Must be the guy's son. Or wait- could it be related to one of the two colleges I dropped out of? Did I forget to hand in a super important assignment that they had to have after 4 to 10 years (depending on which school)? No. Could it be a private investigator hired by an ex-boyfriend who had never stopped pining for me and would soon be disappointed to discover I am no longer a slim-yet-amply-busted-smoker-with vast literary knowledge but am instead a rather-plump-if-not-massive-still-amply-busted-mama-to-two-with a vast knowledge of nursing and parenting styles? Not likley. I hardly seem worthy of a gumshoe on the beat.
I also briefly considered the possibility that it could be a ne'er-do-well who would try to get my social security number, mother's maiden name and last debit card transaction from me. A killer seemed unlikely but we all know about identity theft. Who wouldn't want to be me? (Note above paragraph before anwering.)
As it was I decided to call back. I bravely dialed and commandingly requested to be told who the caller was and what business he had with me.
...
...
It was a wee little old man with his wee little old wife on the line also, calling to say that while they were taking their nightly after dinner walk they came across my license on the sidewalk. It had my maiden name on a separate line from my married name and an old address. Their was a change of address sticker on teh back so aftre spending all morning calling information and trying various combinations of name and addresses- they found me. They were terribly worried that such a pretty girl would be looking for it. Of course they would drop in the post to me right away. Yeah I suck just a little bit.
Since getting pregnant with bambina dos I have lost my bank card exactly 4 times. Yes four times in 40 weeks. Truly impressive (although the bank does not share this opinion), indeed. I have left the phone in the linen closet twice. I have forgotten to feed my son an actual sit-down lunch (not just snacks) at least 5 times. I have told my sister I would pay her back only to forget for weeks too many times to count. I have left the heat on 72 after turning in to bed almost nightly causing our gas bill to be ridiculous even for New England. I have lost my house key and my platinum wedding ring one time each. I found the key but the ring seems to have made it to the trash and is thusly gone for good. So the fact that I lost my license at a playdate is no big shocker. I hadn't even realized it was missing. I don't get carded much when buying Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. But these two people stopped and picked it up of the cold ground and took the time to find me even though it was hard and they could have just sent it to the RMV or something. They were polite even after I was rude. They were just nice people which is what they probably are most of the time. And they may or may not have a son who has a BA and a MA and a successful career at an upstate New York university. Good for them.
I guess all is right in the world after all.
Today as I am slicing up all-natural chicken drumettes for E, I get a phone call. I don't recognize the number so I let voicemail get it. When I listen to the message it is a deep and gruff man's voice saying "If there is a ~Me with Maiden Name~ at this address please call 555-5555." Nothing else. Not "because you owe-won-lost 8 million dollars." So after racking my mind to think of reasons why a creditor would be calling from a seemingly local residential number I did what any savvy modern day girl would do. I did a reverse look up on the number and then googled the guy.
All that came up was that he was an academic cousnelor at a university in another state. Must be the guy's son. Or wait- could it be related to one of the two colleges I dropped out of? Did I forget to hand in a super important assignment that they had to have after 4 to 10 years (depending on which school)? No. Could it be a private investigator hired by an ex-boyfriend who had never stopped pining for me and would soon be disappointed to discover I am no longer a slim-yet-amply-busted-smoker-with vast literary knowledge but am instead a rather-plump-if-not-massive-still-amply-busted-mama-to-two-with a vast knowledge of nursing and parenting styles? Not likley. I hardly seem worthy of a gumshoe on the beat.
I also briefly considered the possibility that it could be a ne'er-do-well who would try to get my social security number, mother's maiden name and last debit card transaction from me. A killer seemed unlikely but we all know about identity theft. Who wouldn't want to be me? (Note above paragraph before anwering.)
As it was I decided to call back. I bravely dialed and commandingly requested to be told who the caller was and what business he had with me.
...
...
It was a wee little old man with his wee little old wife on the line also, calling to say that while they were taking their nightly after dinner walk they came across my license on the sidewalk. It had my maiden name on a separate line from my married name and an old address. Their was a change of address sticker on teh back so aftre spending all morning calling information and trying various combinations of name and addresses- they found me. They were terribly worried that such a pretty girl would be looking for it. Of course they would drop in the post to me right away. Yeah I suck just a little bit.
Since getting pregnant with bambina dos I have lost my bank card exactly 4 times. Yes four times in 40 weeks. Truly impressive (although the bank does not share this opinion), indeed. I have left the phone in the linen closet twice. I have forgotten to feed my son an actual sit-down lunch (not just snacks) at least 5 times. I have told my sister I would pay her back only to forget for weeks too many times to count. I have left the heat on 72 after turning in to bed almost nightly causing our gas bill to be ridiculous even for New England. I have lost my house key and my platinum wedding ring one time each. I found the key but the ring seems to have made it to the trash and is thusly gone for good. So the fact that I lost my license at a playdate is no big shocker. I hadn't even realized it was missing. I don't get carded much when buying Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. But these two people stopped and picked it up of the cold ground and took the time to find me even though it was hard and they could have just sent it to the RMV or something. They were polite even after I was rude. They were just nice people which is what they probably are most of the time. And they may or may not have a son who has a BA and a MA and a successful career at an upstate New York university. Good for them.
I guess all is right in the world after all.
posted by MZ @ 9:26 AM
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